Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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