I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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