Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
