You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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