There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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