Grow some girl-balls and come out already
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
