I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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