i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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