'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
