it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
