Kiss
Puke
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
