what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
