I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
