Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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