I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
