He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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