I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
