Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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