So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize