No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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