So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
