Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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