I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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