Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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