Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
