i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dicks are not precious.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
