Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he fucked my hip out of place.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I didn't notice because vodka
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize