i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize