we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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