I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
