just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
