Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
