So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
