i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
