before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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