so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's the barista slut.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
