Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
