Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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