..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
