I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
