I seem to have left my pride at pride
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
