so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
