remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
