Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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