Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
