yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
