i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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