You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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