Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
