Duck Duck Cougar?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
