she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
