yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Randomize
