direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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