Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
