I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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