I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
