Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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