i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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