honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
