I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
